Two years ago tomorrow (July 7, 2010), Sarah left us in sorrow. When I heard the news of her death from Bob, I grabbed the Crucifix off my bedroom wall (while screaming Oh God!) and said to myself, Jesus know I understand more on why you prayed on your knees, cried, and suffered in Gethsemane.
For months I cried, felt numb to the world, could not sleep, and had to force myself to eat. The only hope I had was that God loved Sarah more than I did, and God is full of love and mercy. Jesus "sat on the mercy seat" and we have benefited. Unworthy creatures that we are.
Our family dynamics have changed. Cruel words have been spoken and many lies told. Family life is shallow and shattered. Sarah was so good to me, such a wonderful sister and listener. We talked on the phone just about every day sharing everything, or so I thought. Some days we called several times throughout the day. I knew she was sad, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think she would end things tragically. I called her several times on the day she died...the last call at 11:11 a.m. The line was busy...was she going through her death ritual then??? So senseless...so many questions...no answers!!! I still cry in my heart and every now and then the cries come out in tears. Dearest Sarah I miss you so much. My vision of Sarah in my mind is beautiful. What she was in this life to me and so many others was priceless. Surely Sarah has to be in the presence of God with all the Angels and Saints....surely she does. FOREVER missing my dear Princess....forever
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